you funny fucka.......
This has got me smiling ....
My 5 cents worth. lol
Two elderly ladies are sitting on the front porch, doing nothing. One lady turns and asks "Do you still get horny?" The other replies "Oh sure I do". The first old lady asks "What do you do about it?" The second old lady replies "I suck a lifesaver". After a few moments, the first old lady asks "Who drives you to the beach?
Here's one for the oldies
Hi all, I am new to the forum and thought I would post here first, rather than start a new thread. I wanted to tell every one about the time my brother and I stopped on the side of a country highway and found a big hole when relieving ourselves. My brother threw a big rock down and waited to here the bang when it hit bottom. Nothing.
Then he found a rail way sleeper and asked me to give him a hand. We threw it down and waited. Then, from behind us a crashing and bashing through the scrub. A Billy goat, wild eyed and angry charged straight at us. We jumped out the way and it speared straight between us and down the bottomless hole.
We sat there speechless when a bloke walked through the bushes. "You blokes seen a goat?"
We told him we just saw the meanest, angriest billy goat in the world and that it went us.
"Can't be my goat" he explained "Mine was tame and tied to a railway sleeper"
ha ha ha, fucken gold.....
One day an Englishman, an American, and a Canadian walked into a pub together. The proceeded to each buy a pint of Molson Canadian. Just as they were about to enjoy their beverage three flies landed in each of their pints. The Englishman pushed his beer away from him in disgust. The American fished the offending fly out of his beer and continued drinking it as if nothing had happened. The Canadian picked the fly out of his drink and started shaking it over the pint, yelling... "SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT YOU BASTARD!!!"
A circus owner walked into a bar to see everyone crowded about a table watching a little show. On the table was an upside down pot and a duck tap dancing on it. The circus owner was so impressed that he offered to buy the duck from its owner. After some wheeling and dealing, they settled for $10,000 for the duck and the pot.Three days later the circus owner runs back to the bar in anger, "Your duck is a ripoff! I put him on the pot before a whole audience, and he didnt dance a single step!" "So?" asked the ducks former owner, "did you remember to light the candle under the pot?"
very nice Darrin.........